Participate in your child's misery

let the child cry

Why is he miserable?

When kids go astray, parents ask, " Where did we go wrong?" but when the parents go astray, what can the kids ask, to whom? They suffer silently or maybe they are silenced  by their own parents. And yet nobody dares to look with fresh eyes into this vital issue of bringing up children.

The repressive attitude of the past generations to their children will not work any longer. Osho endorses the new studies of psychologists who say that the screaming and shouting of a child is very healthy. Those children who cannot scream and shout in their childhood, who cannot throw tantrums, cannot show their displeasure openly become mentally sick forever. This screaming and crying of a child is a deep process, it is a method of relieving his pain. 

Osho has suggested a meditation for parents or elders who are bringing up children.

" If a child is crying, neither you scold him, nor pat him, nor advise him, just sit with him silently, go on watching him meditatively, lovingly. But do not stop him from crying or try to make him sleep by patting his head. Do not give him toys because it means you are bribing him. Do not distract  his mind by showing him a beautiful sparrow sitting on a tree. By doing this you are distracting him from his natural way. Just be silent without getting angry – because your anger too can function as suppression for the child. Go on looking at the child silently and lovingly, then you will be amazed. As long as you give attention to a child lovingly, he would cry heartfully, he would scream. The child will vent out his feelings  for a while and afterwards will become light. He will start smiling, will become happy. He is not smiling to please you. Now this laughter is arising from the release of his pain. Now he has become light-hearted.  

Participate in the emotional cleansing

If we silently cooperate with the children's emotional needs  the perversion, the madness would be greatly reduced in this world. Parents should participate in  the emotional cleansing of their children, it will help their own cleansing, too. The children will start trusting their parents and a deep intimate bond will be created between both. So when the children mature sexually and they have strange sensations and attractions in their body and mind they will feel free to ask their parents about it, and the parents will not doubt their children's intentions.