" The Whole World Is Sad Because Of Marriage" : Osho

There is an interesting research on the fidelity of marriage published in The New York Times, ' The most consistent data on infidelity come from the General Social Survey, sponsored by the National Science Foundation and based at the University of Chicago, which has used a national representative sample to track the opinions and social behaviors of Americans since 1972. The survey data show that in any given year, about 10 percent of married people — 12 percent of men and 7 percent of women — say they have had sex outside their marriage.'

The researchers also see big changes in relatively new marriages. About 20 percent of men and 15 percent of women under 35 say they have ever been unfaithful, up from about 15 and 12 percent respectively.

But I think this is a very low percentage compared to the actual cheating game played by husbands and wives. Both the partners go on cheating and want that the other should not know about it. Can't blame them. The way marriage is structured, is stifling and everyone wants to breathe fresh air once in a while. Not a big crime for sure!

Osho hammers the outdated institution of marriage which has an inherent scope for infidelity.

Osho asks a pertinent question in his book The Messiah Vol #8

" What goes wrong between husbands and wives, even after a love marriage? It is not love, and everybody has accepted it as if he knows what love is. It is pure lust. Soon you are fed up with each other. Biology has tricked you for reproduction and soon there is nothing new -- the same face, the same geography, the same topography. How many times have you explored it?

The whole world is sad because of marriage, and the world still remains unaware of the cause.

" When you live together, the husband comes home late; there is no need, no necessity for the wife to inquire where he has been, why he's late. He has his own space, he's a free individual. Two free individuals are living together and nobody encroaches on each others' spaces. If the wife comes late, there is no need to ask "Where have you been?" Who are you? -- she has her own space, her own freedom.

But this is happening every day, in every home. Over small matters they are fighting, but deep down the question is that they are not ready to allow the other to have his own space.

"Likings are different. Your husband may like something, you may not like it. That does not mean that it is the beginning of a fight, that because you are husband and wife, your likings should also be the same. And all these questions... every husband returning home goes on in his mind, "What is she going to ask? How am I going to answer?" And the woman knows what she's going to ask and what he's going to answer, and all those answers are fake, fictitious. He's cheating her.

"What kind of love is this that is always suspicious, always afraid of jealousies? If the wife sees you with some other woman -- just laughing, talking -- that's enough to destroy your whole night. If the husband sees the wife with another man and she seems to be more joyous, more happy, this is enough to create a turmoil.

" People are unaware that they don't know what love is. Love never suspects, love is never jealous. Love never interferes in the other's freedom. Love never imposes on the other. Love gives freedom, and the freedom is possible only if there is space in your togetherness."

And to end this write up on a playful note here is an Osho joke:

Paddy's wife Maureen has had it. She goes to see her attorney, Abraham Babblebrain, and tells him she wants a divorce.

"Very well, Mrs O'Grady," says Babblebrain, "what are your grounds?
You have to have a reason for getting a divorce."

"Reason?" says Maureen. "Really? What sort of reason?"

"Well," says Babblebrain patiently, "for example, one reason would be if your husband does not give you enough money."

"Pah," snorts Maureen, "give me money? I give him money."

"Okay," says Babblebrain, "what about cruelty then? Does he beat you?"

"Pah," snorts Maureen again, "beat me? I beat him."

"Ah," says the lawyer, "so what about infidelity? Is he faithful to you in love?"

"That's it!" cries Maureen. "That's how we get him. I know for a fact that he is not the father of our third child."

From the book : Zen: The Diamond Thunderbolt # 1/courtesy Osho International Foundation/www.osho.com/library