let the child cry |
Why is he miserable? |
When kids go astray, parents ask, " Where did we go
wrong?" but when the parents go astray, what can the kids ask, to whom?
They suffer silently or maybe they are silenced by their own parents.
And yet nobody dares to look with fresh eyes into this vital issue of bringing
up children.
The repressive attitude of the past generations to their
children will not work any longer. Osho endorses the new studies of
psychologists who say that the screaming and shouting of a child is very
healthy. Those children who cannot scream and shout in their childhood, who
cannot throw tantrums, cannot show their displeasure openly become mentally
sick forever. This screaming and crying of a child is a deep process, it is a
method of relieving his pain.
Osho has suggested a meditation for parents or elders who
are bringing up children.
" If a child is crying, neither you scold him, nor pat
him, nor advise him, just sit with him silently, go on watching him
meditatively, lovingly. But do not stop him from crying or try to make him
sleep by patting his head. Do not give him toys because it means you are
bribing him. Do not distract his mind by
showing him a beautiful sparrow sitting on a tree. By doing this you are
distracting him from his natural way. Just be silent without getting angry –
because your anger too can function as suppression for the child. Go on looking
at the child silently and lovingly, then you will be amazed. As long as you
give attention to a child lovingly, he would cry heartfully, he would scream.
The child will vent out his feelings for
a while and afterwards will become light. He will start smiling, will become
happy. He is not smiling to please you. Now this laughter is arising from the
release of his pain. Now he has become light-hearted.
Participate in the emotional cleansing |
If we silently cooperate with the children's emotional needs the perversion, the madness would be greatly
reduced in this world. Parents should participate in the emotional cleansing of their children, it will help their own
cleansing, too. The children will start trusting their parents and a deep intimate bond will be created between
both. So when the children mature sexually and they have strange sensations and
attractions in their body and mind they will feel free to ask their parents
about it, and the parents will not doubt their children's intentions.
2 comments:
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