Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Why do we jump into relationships?


I met one lovely and unique Romanian woman at Osho International Meditation Resort, Pune. Why unique? Because she has dared to meditate in Romania and be an individual.
"What is the most difficult thing for a woman in your country?" I asked her over a cup of coffee.
" To live alone." she said instantly," There is an old saying: 'Living with a bad person is bad, but it is worse living without the bad person'. It means we prefer to live a miserable life with someone, than live alone."
But this is not only in Romania, it is a common fear. People don't know how to live alone, which means how to live with themselves. Because they can't differentiate between loneliness and aloneness.
Osho wants us to understand that loneliness is not aloneness. He says,
" Loneliness is the absence of the other -- you would like the other to be there, but the other is not, and you miss them. YOU are not there in loneliness, the absence of the other is there. Aloneness is your presence; it is a positive phenomenon. You don't miss the other, you meet yourself. Then you are alone, alone like a peak, tremendously beautiful! Sometimes you even feel a terror -- but it has a beauty. But the presence is the basic thing: you are present to yourself. You are not lonely, you are with yourself.
If you are alone, you grow, because there is space to grow -- nobody else to hamper, nobody else to obstruct, nobody else to create more complex problems. Alone you are happy being with yourself, and a bliss arises. There is no comparison: because the other is not there you are neither beautiful nor ugly, neither rich nor poor, neither this nor that, neither white nor black, neither man nor woman."
And The Flowers Showered/copyright Osho International Foundation/

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